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from Inclusive by Reconsiderate

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about

Fare well to my desperate haunting phantom.

=====================================

lyrics

It's been a long time. You used to make up a major part of my life, so I'm sort of inclined to hear you talking in my mind often and I'm not really comfortable with it. It's more than I'd like.

I'd rather hear you less or, if I might be so bold as to suggest, not at all. I'm trying to get leverage in the present moment and fly. And yet your every echo keeps holding me tight. It's almost like you don't want to find that I could soar in the sky. You want me broken and tied to you, deprived and ruined. You're trying to prove that if I make a move without you, we're all gonna die. And so I need to keep close to your side at all times, and follow your distorted advice, cuz only you could see the forest from high above the trees. "I'm weak" is what your story implies.

I'm not trying to hear that moral, alright? I know you're caught in a cycle and you're torn up at night. All you want is to find an end to the war that you fight, but listen. I'm more than just a pawn in your plight.

Where do you get off calling me subordinate? You're crossing a line, and it's unfortunate. I would offer you my support if it would open doors a bit and foster the kind of setting that you need to prosper and thrive. Cuz even though you want to force the design of your narrative upon me like I'm a mannekin, I know that you're trying to cope and survive. If only you'd find a way to do it while affording me my own space...

(rant about personal boundaries)

I've sacrificed so much. Looking back on the path that I have travelled, I don't come to the conclusion that I've lived my life well. Hell, I'm never choosing what'll help me to excel and grow up. I'm so stuck. I won't run from challenges, but my balance is broken. I seem to believe it's more important to show love to you and your opinion than to go with the flow underneath my feet. It keeps me weak when I seek to appease other people but pleasing me is hung from a low rung on the priority hierarchy. I sort of feel lied to. Hardly am I supported when I have a dark dream. It's no fun. I long for a modicum of respect instead of getting swept under throw rugs.

But I'm never gonna get that respect from you. So I've gotta deflect the ruse that you present as truth. If I don't, then I lose. I don't want to get into any kind of defensive mood. I just wanna get my dues, everything I'm meant to use. This request is too fair for me to care whether you accept it and approve.

So yo, um, I hope some bit of this is sinking in and it's affecting the way that you're thinking. I give it at most one minute before I can no longer tolerate the constant toxic vomit while I exonerate and relieve you from needing to fulfill the obligations that you previously agreed to. At some point you're gonna need to live up to your responsibilties. I make no promise whether I'm gonna stick around to watch you when you do.

credits

from Inclusive, released July 19, 2018
lyrics written and performed by Reconsiderate
produced by Evaridae

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Reconsiderate Madison, Wisconsin

support for The Human Experience

plus rap and proggy beats

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