1. |
Embrace This
04:29
|
|||
|
What is life? Is it but a synonym for time, written in a line that'll stretch to the minute that you die? Is it interactive or is it predefined? Do you passively pantomime everything that you've been given like your hands are tied? Or do you act like a mastermind (fit it all into the vision that you have designed)?
If you haven't ever thought about any of this at all, then you ought to now. By default, when you walk around all you really do is echo how you've fallen down and been hurt in the piggedy-past, thinking about it like: "Aw man, this'll be bad! It's gonna happen again and I can't bear the thought of repeating it, better leave from it fast!"
So you retreat in your heart and head, believing that you're too weak and you're marked for dead. Better to keep it as far as you can so it won't ever defeat you and harm you when it inevitably pays you a visit, cuz it evidently is awaiting you within every single situation you get in. Even when it isn't, you create the conditions that it needs to take root and grow. You summon it because it's the main truth you know. Everything that you wade through is only another way of seeing the same feud you hold, but with a new skin painted on it. Keep it looking fresh to engage you honestly. Please stay with all this. The only way out is through it. Aim to solve it.
Embrace your fixation, that one that you hold onto and strengthen every time you labor to change it. You can't escape it. It's a pain you relate with. It stays around until you integrate and embrace it.
Here's what happens. This is how you get trapped in the labyrinth where you're acting as if you're in the past and you're battling phantoms. You get into a little back-and-forth with another person, thinking that you have rapport, or that what you have passes for respect in the sense that it matches your intent to stay connected through the ups and downs that you may be met with. You want a basic safety net which reflects a teammate displaying friendship. But that isn't what you get, now is it? Instead what you get is distance and a cold detached indifference, leaving you all alone with this undeniable sense of like: "Um, aren't we meant to be meshed, aligned and one? I see you trying to be separate. I'm confused why you'd attempt to hide from your involvement in this with me. I'm bending over backward so we can sit in peace. I don't get it. Such mystery. I deserve better than for you to quit and leave."
Take note of the fact that you're feeling aroused in your emotions and lack the resolution that you hoped you'd've had but instead now you got a load on your back. This is after just one situation. Over your life, after tons of evasion, it adds up. The conundrum you're faced with is that you're weighed down until you come to embrace it.
|
||||
2. |
Dark is Back
03:58
|
|||
|
Do it / show me
You say you want to live in peace
All this talk of injustice
The solution is simple
No more talk from the sidelines
Listen, when I get up in the morning I don't want to get into a confrontation with the first person I observe in my face with some kind of urgent complaint that my personal space isn't perfectly placed in the realm of etiquette. Check it, if you ever get in my face with that shit, I forget it never. Better expect less than dick. I don't give a shit about whatever you think is so important that it goes before any sort of support of other people living in the whatever way they need to exist. You pick up picket signs and resist with a fist. Ridiculous how you miss when the place that it hits is your face. You affix your attention on making the switch from lazy complacence to sadism if you're the one with the way to inflict the pain and laugh at your gimp.
I don't know what it was that made you like this, and I don't really give a shit. My patience has been drained and I'm finished with taking it. You could be laid in the dirt and awaken in a new frame in which you could be lame and limp. Pay attention! It's basically training which you escaped or you lacked in this incarnation. You were saved from the pain of it, and so now you're not very sensitive. That crown doesn't belong on your head, cuz it represents the majestic-est method but you're a clown, and it's pathetic kid. Take a second. Reflect on this. What's with all this revenge you intend to dispense? Every new friend is subjected to your rejection and your tests. Let it end.
You're so stingy when it comes to affection, not to mention connecting without your protection. I don't get it. Why do you pull away? What are you thinking, maybe it won't be okay to touch and be touched in return? Was it something you learned when you were young, trusting love that was spurned? It's enough to be hurt, and it sucks to observe that you are stuck.
|
||||
3. |
Look Around
01:03
|
|||
|
yo
i look around
at the way
that people behave
they
tend to echo the pain
that they'd found
when they went through the maze
evidently they stayed
cuz they never display
the wisdom needed to get out of it
or the compassion that you have
for lads and lasses trapped down in it
it puts a frown on this
face
that i keep pasted
to the front side of my H-
to the E-A-D
we may need
these fake leeches
to repay the
great patience that they were afforded
by people who had supported them
how they gonna be fortunate
but abort when the sordid shit
demands a token a contribution in return
i have to open them up with shocking proof that it's a circle
they will return full
into the dirt will
they ever learn no
|
||||
4. |
Must Be
02:36
|
|||
|
it didn't have to be like this. it could've been much more comfortable. believe i'd get on board with a re-write if it would open up the door to the dimension that i know as home but i feel like is absent when we have any kind of interaction. that as a magnet is unattractive, and in fact is completely legit as a reason to be leaving the stitch, which is the speaker's intent. bring it on home cuz i need my itch scratched by somebody who has my back and doesn't bitch when they see my fist clenched cuz i'm stressed and i don't get how to exit.
it didn't have to be like this, you know. you could've pitched in anything i missed, or better yet plan to give half proactively before it ever has the chance to be weakening me. it's draining and taking away my patience. i'm needing to leave. be not pissed. i'm pursuing what i lean on, which evidently isn't present in the scene i'm in. so i gotta detach. you're not gonna match me in terms of effort. you don't wanna surpass whatever's keeping you locked in the past. if you haven't helped me, then you probably can't. and i'm at the point i need to realize it instead of giving you another b-line in to disrupt every dream i wish to take steps toward with esteem in bliss.
it didn't have to be like this. i could've kept it in mind that i know better than to attempt to find camaraderie in the human organism while i wander free. my support rhythm is inside of me. how could the rock have been found in the outer? please! it's a part of me i miss. with strength, it doesn't have to be like this.
|
||||
5. |
Thoughtless Host
03:40
|
|||
|
It's been a long time. You used to make up a major part of my life, so I'm sort of inclined to hear you talking in my mind often and I'm not really comfortable with it. It's more than I'd like.
I'd rather hear you less or, if I might be so bold as to suggest, not at all. I'm trying to get leverage in the present moment and fly. And yet your every echo keeps holding me tight. It's almost like you don't want to find that I could soar in the sky. You want me broken and tied to you, deprived and ruined. You're trying to prove that if I make a move without you, we're all gonna die. And so I need to keep close to your side at all times, and follow your distorted advice, cuz only you could see the forest from high above the trees. "I'm weak" is what your story implies.
I'm not trying to hear that moral, alright? I know you're caught in a cycle and you're torn up at night. All you want is to find an end to the war that you fight, but listen. I'm more than just a pawn in your plight.
Where do you get off calling me subordinate? You're crossing a line, and it's unfortunate. I would offer you my support if it would open doors a bit and foster the kind of setting that you need to prosper and thrive. Cuz even though you want to force the design of your narrative upon me like I'm a mannekin, I know that you're trying to cope and survive. If only you'd find a way to do it while affording me my own space...
(rant about personal boundaries)
I've sacrificed so much. Looking back on the path that I have travelled, I don't come to the conclusion that I've lived my life well. Hell, I'm never choosing what'll help me to excel and grow up. I'm so stuck. I won't run from challenges, but my balance is broken. I seem to believe it's more important to show love to you and your opinion than to go with the flow underneath my feet. It keeps me weak when I seek to appease other people but pleasing me is hung from a low rung on the priority hierarchy. I sort of feel lied to. Hardly am I supported when I have a dark dream. It's no fun. I long for a modicum of respect instead of getting swept under throw rugs.
But I'm never gonna get that respect from you. So I've gotta deflect the ruse that you present as truth. If I don't, then I lose. I don't want to get into any kind of defensive mood. I just wanna get my dues, everything I'm meant to use. This request is too fair for me to care whether you accept it and approve.
So yo, um, I hope some bit of this is sinking in and it's affecting the way that you're thinking. I give it at most one minute before I can no longer tolerate the constant toxic vomit while I exonerate and relieve you from needing to fulfill the obligations that you previously agreed to. At some point you're gonna need to live up to your responsibilties. I make no promise whether I'm gonna stick around to watch you when you do.
|
||||
6. |
Why Hello
01:15
|
|||
|
Why hello
how u doing on this fine day
would you like it if i devote
my whole
attention to you mind and soul?
i could help to lighten the load
i could make it so you fly with o-
(o)pen wings up in the sky and float
effortlessly
let me see
you fetterless
undressing
without any bit of reservation
this is a divine association
your naked body is amazing
this is fine with both
of us it's painless
it's shameless
i love to look in your face and
see your eyes and nose
baby
so close to mine i am o-
(o)verwhelmed with this
trying to hold
the position i hope and wish
that the ghost we give
to the world will bring a final close
to the woes we live
|
||||
Reconsiderate Madison, Wisconsin
support for The Human Experience
plus rap and proggy beats
Reconsiderate recommends:
(2019) The 2nd release by Outside Voices, the MadHop super crew comprised of B-Luv, Evaridate, Liquid Form, Mr Bomb Camp, Neumy, Rambunxious, and Reconsiderate.
go to album
(2017) The final Conscious Object release, easily the best C*O experience. Featuring many guest artists: Ecid, DJ Pain 1, Liquid Form, Memory, Taiyamo Denku, Rambunxious, Vedar One, Knowshun, Neu Dae
go to albumIf you like Reconsiderate, you may also like:
featured on Bandcamp Radio Oct 6, 2023
go to album
The debut from UK rapper Jeshi is filled with incisive social commentary and high energy songs.
go to album
The Iceberg Theory
by CLBRKS & Vagrant Real Estate
featured on Bandcamp Radio Aug 12, 2022
go to album
Honey I'm Home
by Dobey Dobe, MixedbyAO
featured on Bandcamp Radio Feb 23, 2024
go to album
